As I (Brenna Kate Simonds) typed the date for this newsletter, I realized it had been 25 years since I began to make Jesus Lord over my sexuality. It has been a long journey! I was just 15 when I realized I was physically attracted to my female best friend. After we acted on this attraction, I consulted a book to find out what this meant. The book said that if you are attracted to the same sex, and especially if you act on that attraction, then you are gay. I remember thinking, There it is, in black & white – I am a homosexual.
That was June of 1990.
The message I received at that time was that your sexual attractions define who you are. You were born this way, and the only way to be happy or live a fulfilled life was to fully embrace being gay.
And so, I did just that. I continued to be in lesbian relationships for years, even after I encountered Jesus’s forgiveness of sins in January of 1999. It wasn’t until March of 2000 that I surrendered not only my life but also my sexuality to Jesus Christ.
25 years ago, I knew of no leaders in the Bible-believing church who spoke of same-sex attraction being an immutable (unchangeable) sexual orientation. A few voices might have said that any effort to change one’s same-sex attraction could potentially be harmful, but they were rare.
The message of the church has now changed dramatically, especially in the last 10 years. Perhaps overcorrecting previous statements that imply same-sex attraction is chosen, many influential Evangelical leaders today would say that being same-sex attracted or gay is your orientation. It is unchangeable short of a miraculous intervention, and it’s unlikely that God would want to change it. Why would He? It’s just your cross to bear, the thorn in your flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7). It comes across as theologically sound when expressed that way.
25 years ago, when I began to walk this journey, I didn’t know a lot about Jesus, but I knew He had changed and was changing my life. I knew that His death and resurrection was about so much more than just the forgiveness of sins. I knew somehow, with His help, I could become new (2 Corinthians 5:17), that the promise of the gospel was and is whole-life transformation. I saw that God could and was transforming (or sanctifying) me in the midst of disordered eating, self-injury, depression, anxiety and self-hatred. It didn’t even occur to me to question whether or not God could do the same in the midst of ongoing same-sex attraction.
This wasn’t easy. I felt primarily attracted to females, my identity firmly planted in being gay. But I made an active choice to consider “everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things” (Philippians 3:8), including the gay identity I had built my life upon.
There was a song we often sang during this time:
All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres and wars to own
All I once thought gain, I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now compared to this
Knowing You, Jesus, Knowing You
There is no greater thing
This was the heart of it all. It wasn’t about becoming straight, as if replacing homosexual lusts with heterosexual ones were the goal. It was about holiness and living in the fullness of all God created me to be. It was about total and complete surrender. It was about firmly planting my identity in Christ and Christ alone. If Jesus was willing to lose His life so that I could have life, I needed to be willing to trust Him even with something that felt so much a part of me, no matter what the outcome.
By God’s grace and through His healing power, He transformed my attractions to the point where I would date and eventually marry my husband Roy in December of 2002. This is a simplification of the journey Jesus took me on (there’s more on our website), but that was His plan for me.
Some in today’s church hesitate to share a story like mine for fear of implying that every Christian with same-sex attraction should expect the same outcome, or that those who do not experience opposite-sex attraction are stubbornly remaining in sin. We know of many people without same-sex attraction who, for various reasons, never marry, and we know of faithful Christians who have not experienced opposite-sex attraction. We do not know God’s will or plan for each individual. But as a ministry, we do encourage those we serve to maintain a posture of openness toward God, allowing Him to do whatever He might want to do. And as is God’s design for all, we preach chastity in singleness and faithfulness in marriage.
We hope this will be the beginning of a conversation in our newsletters and website about why an openness to transformation in all areas of our life but specifically in the area of our sexuality and gender is at the heart of the gospel.
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen” (Ephesians 3:20-21).
We are so grateful for your partnership with us as we hold out hope together to those impacted by same-sex attraction & gender dysphoria! We welcome any comments and feedback from all newsletters. Have a blessed Easter and Lenten season!
Prayer Requests
We rely on your prayers to keep this ministry active, healthy and visible. Our desire is to share the Good News of Jesus Christ that offers hope to those impacted by same-sex attraction & gender dysphoria. To receive regular prayer updates via e-mail, please e-mail prayer@alive-in-christ.net, and we will add you to the list.
Please pray for these needs:
- That those identifying as LGBTQ+ would have an encounter with Jesus
- Upcoming trainings (May 3rd in Agawam is open to the public – details on our site)
- Our 2025 Fall Retreat
- Our 3 support groups
- More opportunities to share the hope Christ offers all LGBTQ+!
Financial Supporters
If you would like to give a gift to the ministry, you can find instructions here. All gifts are tax-deductible. Thank you for your generosity!