“With God, all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
I am a 40-year old woman who recently married and more recently became a new mom of a 6-month old little girl! I am writing this testimonial out of immense gratitude to God for his faithfulness and to the gifts of help that He provided to me in my journey, namely, the Alive in Christ ministry and my friend, Brenna Kate.
My Christian counselor referred me to the Alive in Christ group back in 2003. I was living and studying in Boston during those years, and really struggling with same-sex attraction and my identity. I will forever be grateful to all the members and leaders of the Alive in Christ ministry who provided unconditional love and support as well as accountability, and a pathway to walk in the freedom that God intended for every one of us. It was through the work of this ministry, attending the group meetings, praying with others, participating in worship together, that I truly felt God’s abundant grace and compassion. It took many years and tears, but I learned to understand that my same-sex struggle wasn’t just about a physical attraction, but it was a much deeper brokenness of my identity and how I related to others in unhealthy ways.
My cycle included becoming co-dependent / emotionally dependent on female friends. I somehow found ways to justify the sin. God worked through the ministry to convict me of what was right and what I needed to do in these friendships, even though it was a painful process that ended up hurting others. Brenna Kate provided support and guidance not only during my time in Boston, but continued to reach out to me when I moved out of the area. She sent me a copy of her book Learning to Walk in Freedom during a critical time in my life when I was really doubting my next steps. These supports helped me to walk more obediently, and when I would stumble—which I did many, many times—to get back up and continue walking towards freedom, to walk in faith.
Even though I would have these struggles on and off for most of my adult life, I did not lose hope. Over time, my confidence to walk in faith increased, and the temptations in my life became weaker. Deep down, the true desire of my heart always was to love and be loved by a man, and to become a mother. I have learned that God works in mysterious ways and is always on time. In 2015, I met my future husband online. Being married to him is nothing short of a miracle and a daily reminder of God’s power in making anything possible! This past summer, God blessed us both with a sweet little baby. I know that these gifts are not given to me because I did something to deserve them, or that my efforts are superior to others. Rather, I know that they come from God’s abundant grace. Through Alive in Christ and others who helped me along my journey, I learned to identify my brokenness and to seek healing, which is an ongoing process. I am grateful that I have not had these struggles in recent years, but I am fully aware that I need to remain vigilant because I know my weaknesses. It is important for me to stay connected to Alive in Christ, as it blesses me to read the newsletters and to also hear about God’s power working in others’ lives. I pray that the readers of these testimonials are inspired to keep their focus on God’s faithfulness and to not lose hope—for nothing is impossible with God!