We come to you this holiday season, extremely grateful. Alive in Christ has had another amazing year of growth! We hired an administrative assistant and a bookkeeper, and hosted our 1st ever Alive in Christ fall retreat with almost 30 people in attendance. We also presented training seminars, offered mentoring sessions, held regular support groups, spoke to youth groups, shared in numerous church services – and the list goes on. We give glory to God for this!
To continue to serve, support, and equip those impacted by same-sex attraction & gender dysphoria, Alive in Christ is in need of $20,000 in year-end giving. We continue to serve churches for whom finances are a challenge. Our mentoring, consulting, and support groups are offered at no cost. The Fall Retreat was definitely a highlight of 2024, and we hope to make it an annual event. Eleven years ago, the network organization that connected Alive in Christ to similar US ministries closed down. Some smaller networks have sought to take its place, but they haven’t yet been able to provide the same quality of national and regional conferences. Since the pandemic, our support groups have met almost entirely via video conference, so ministry participants have few opportunities to receive in-person encouragement, as well as connect with those in other ministries with similar struggles. Please prayerfully consider giving to this need, so that we can continue to offer hope to those impacted by same-sex attraction & gender dysphoria in all these ways and more.
David* attended our fall retreat in October and is part of a similar ministry elsewhere. Now in his 50’s, he first opened up about his struggle less than a year ago. He shared his story with me over a meal at the retreat, and I felt it was important for you to hear it as well. David chose not to be part of the picture here from the retreat, for reasons that will become clear in his testimony.
One would think after traveling extensively for work for many years – to Asia, Central America, and remote parts of the US – that my most intense experiences of loneliness would be encountered in these unfamiliar, distant lands. But actually, the most secluded, remote feelings of isolation have been experienced in local, Christian churches.
I became a Christian in my late twenties, 25 years ago. I was ecstatic; my life had changed! Having spent so many years not knowing God, I wanted to learn everything that I could and studied fervently. Everything was great except for one thing: unwanted same-sex attractions (SSA). I first noticed that I was different a couple years before puberty. I had been successful for the most part in suppressing the SSA until it reared its ugly head a couple months after becoming a believer. I was shocked. I thought being a child of God would “cure” this? I prayed for my attractions to go away, but they persisted. There was great turmoil in my heart and mind. Homosexuality is a sin! An abomination! I knew I was saved by grace through faith, but why did this temptation persist? Was I really saved? If I could not get rid of this sin, would I be able to enter into the kingdom of God with these thoughts?
After a couple years, I realized I needed help with this matter. But who to turn to? All that was mentioned from the pulpit at my church was “it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!” and the congregation would laugh. Everyone but this “Steve.” I was convinced it was sin, but I didn’t know how to overcome these feelings that I had since my early years, which were now intensifying. I already felt different from other men and was teased by some of my male Christian friends for being “sensitive” because I was sympathetic to other people’s suffering and pain. Could I find someone at my church who would be compassionate and understanding?
I decided to go to the elder who led me to the Lord and initially discipled me. Rather than asking about SSA, though, I thought it would be safer to try another taboo subject, so I first inquired, “What does the Bible say about masturbation?” Was I wrong! “Mortify the flesh! It’s so perverted! How could you ask me this question?!” Well, as a 31-year-old single male, I thought it was pretty obvious why I would be asking! I was absolutely horrified by his response. I already felt dirty and ashamed, a sexual pervert, a reprobate due to the SSA; now, that dirty feeling was confirmed by a third party.
I searched the internet, but the pro-gay search engines made sure to show the failed ex-gay Christians at the top of the results. I became discouraged and believed the lie that I was born this way; it was in my DNA. How could I ever marry a woman if I could not control my SSA? I concluded that these temptations were unique to me. I saw myself as modern-day leper. I was at least grateful not be outcast to a physically remote village; I could dwell among the normal, unsullied Christians in my local church and remain in their midst as long as I hid this sin.
Recently, I had dinner with a very close Christian friend. We’ve known each other since the beginning of my Christian walk, and we were very close as single men and into his marriage. I held his children as babies and took them to the park, babysitting so he and his wife could go on date nights. I was considering telling him about my SSA. Over dinner one night, he described how his neighborhood was in a state of decline. City people were moving in and contaminating his sterile, suburban paradise. He listed the new neighbors in order of their increasing offensiveness. They parked cars on the street, played loud music, and had lots of wild kids; he brought up two lesbian neighbors and finally, the dreaded homosexual couple! Ick, puke, gag! His daughter, whom I rocked to sleep as a baby, even chimed in with an offensive remark. I was more hurt by what she said than what her father had said. All I could think was this: if I shared my struggle with them, would I lose them? I was so heartbroken.
For all these years, I thought that I was all alone in this struggle, and it would be unfair for me to thrust this topic upon the church and ask my brethren to discuss it. Then, I read in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 that from the very beginnings of the church, there were believers who overcame their SSA. These believers helped build the church upon our cornerstone, Jesus Christ. Christians with SSA have been part of God’s family from the very beginning.
Those of us who are overcoming SSA are living proof, an eye witness that we are not “born this way”; there is a better way: Jesus Christ. We can be reborn and do not have to continue in this sin. We can reject a gay identity and accept our identity in Christ. There are thousands of us. The church today has the privilege of loving one another, edifying one another and bearing one another’s burden. I have loved my brothers and sisters in Christ as the Bible demanded. But from what I have seen and heard, I am not sure I would be loved if they knew of my SSA. I need love, not stones. After reading what I shared here, would you ask for help with this struggle from these believers?
Friends, can you imagine 40 years of having same-sex attraction and feeling as if there was no one safe to tell, especially among believers? Church, we still have so much work to do. Your prayers and giving created the event where David could meet other believers from across the northeast who are on the same journey as he is. And it’s your prayers and giving that will allow Alive in Christ to equip churches on how to handle LGBTQ+ issues compassionately without compromising truth. Will you give, so that we can continue to declare, as 1 Corinthians 6:11 so boldly declares, “Such were some of you, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God”?
To give to the ministry of Alive in Christ, you can either send a check to us at the address below, you can give under the “Support” section of our website, or you can give through texting. Just text Aliveinchrist to 1-888-364-GIVE (4483). Alive in Christ is a 501(c)3, and all gifts are tax-deductible. Thank you for your prayers and support!
*David’s name was changed for confidentiality, his story edited to fit here; find the complete version here.
Alive in Christ, 1 Park Street, Boston, MA 02108, (617) 880-9099