My name is Kyle, and I am part of the leadership here at Alive in Christ. I am married and have two children. I grew up in the church and attended Christian day school where I asked Jesus into my heart in the third grade.
I believed in God and continued my church involvement into my adult years. Yet for nearly 20 years, I led a double life. I was secretly involved in homosexual behavior through anonymous encounters.
Eight years ago, I was caught by a police officer during one of these encounters. Instead of arresting me, the officer called my wife and told her what I was doing. At that moment, my life ended. I had destroyed everything I had ever known and loved. I felt I had no hope of ever getting any of it back.
With the help of my pastor, I was referred to Alive in Christ. He told me it was a group of people who experience the same attractions I did but were able to walk in freedom—to be the men and women God wanted them to be. I had no idea that anyone else struggled like I did. I was so broken and really doubted anyone could help me. But when I made contact, I was welcomed with open arms.
During those early years attending the ministry, I learned a lot about myself and how I got to be where I was. I learned about the true meaning of God’s grace in my life and that He still loved me even after the devastation I had caused. I was given the tools to begin the process of restoring my marriage and family. Today, though I still have some same-sex attractions, I have learned that my relationship to God is what defines me as a man. I can truly be the husband and father God created me to be.
In addition to my weekly involvement with the Alive in Christ support group, my wife, daughter and I have been participating in the monthly Alive in Christ friends & family group. My 24-year-old son came out to us as being gay a few years ago. He completely immersed himself in the gay community and ended up involved in drugs as well as infected with HIV. Alive in Christ has been a great support as we navigate each day with our son. They have helped us deal with the guilt and pain of this situation and to better understand our role in trying to help him.
My wife and I were fortunate enough to attend the Hope for Wholeness conference in North Carolina. We are grateful to Alive in Christ for making this possible. It was very exciting to meet some of the people like Bob Hamp and Christine Sneeringer whose teachings and testimonies have been a big part in my restoration. I was also thrilled to meet others who had similar stories to mine. I was overwhelmed by the testimonies I heard throughout the week. Each offered yet another glimpse of hope.
Ridgecrest is a beautiful and extensive conference center. It is actually built right into the side of the mountain. There are paths and bridges and stairs in every direction. I often found myself being able to see in the distance the place I wanted to reach but wasn’t sure which path to follow in order to get there. As I walked, I would find others along the way trying to reach the same place. Some were struggling even more than I, and others seemed to be sprinting along. I realized that this place was the very picture of the journey I have been on, seeking wholeness. There are many paths, each with ups and downs, and some that head nowhere. I need to keep my eyes on where God wants me to be. I need not be afraid to ask for help from those who are traveling on this path. I also need to help and encourage others that I meet along the way.
I have truly experienced the love and grace of God in my life. My hope is that someday, my story will help someone else to see how much God wants them to find their true identity and wholeness in Him.